Working with others isn’t always easy. Some people are more than happy to be courteous and polite, setting aside differences to achieve a mutual goal. Others times you’ll meet people that do not play well with others, and seem hell-bent on making your job (life) as hard as they possibly can.

I’ve dealt with quite a few people like that, and let me tell you – It isn’t always easy.

Personally, I’m a bit of a hard-case myself. I like things done the right way (read: my way), and I don’t like a lot of lip about it. Unfortunately, being in a service industry requires that I often yield to the desires of others and bite my tongue more than I’d like to.

There’s a difference between being professional and being a pushover. Sometimes it’s a fine line, but it’s there nevertheless.

I’ve read several articles on this subject, and none of them really told me what I wanted to know (or at least what I wanted to hear – smack ’em upside the head, let them know who’s boss! Kidding. Kinda.)

Below are some nuggets of truth that I’ve found (the hard way, mostly through trial-and-error) to help navigate working along-side of ruthless, tactless people that enjoy watching you squirm to please them.

1. It’s not you, it’s them.

Unless it is you, and your mirror has a rose tint – it’s probably the other party most of the problems.

Clients (people) that know more than you every time – and will loudly show it. Even when they are dead wrong, they will insist that they know what they’re talking about therefore you must be a complete moron.

Bosses, parents, clients – anyone in a position of “power” is likely to abuse it. You cannot easily reason with these people. Trying to do so will suck every ounce of life out of you and leave you feeling frustrated and miserable.

Understanding why they do it isn’t so important here, because often times there is no concrete reason for their behavior – facts are meaningless, reason is wasted. They’re better than you “just ’cause” and that’s all there is to it.

The only way to truly counter this is to not counter it at all. Wait, what? That’s right, but that doesn’t mean you should do nothing – it simply means that you should not engage these people’s asinine cries for attention or attempts to rile you up to prove their ‘superiority’ over you. You will not win. You cannot win.

The only way to succeed in handling these situations is to treat them like water off a duck – address it briefly (and politely, most times), then move on. Eventually they will get the gist that you will not play their little mind games in an endless power-struggle over who’s king of dirt mountain and move on. Engaging them only fans the flame, and they like the heat a lot more than you do, I assure you.

2. Tenacity

Simply put, stick with it. If you follow the 1st suggestion, it’s only a matter of time before they either give up in trying to bait you or leave you alone all together. Many people are afraid of losing clients, any clients, but let me tell you right now – some clients should be (read:get) lost.

Clients (people) like this only care about themselves, and will go hand over fist to make sure they can squeeze every drop of use out of you before you finally break or they’ve gotten everything they can. You don’t need clients like this, and the time that you spend dealing with them could have easily been used for something more useful – like finding clients that are actually good for your business, and willing to contribute rather than trying to micro-manage every detail to feed their ego.

They are users, looking for an easy score. Don’t let them take advantage of you – be calm, polite, and show them the door if necessary.

3. Understand their wants.

“It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Earlier I said do not try to understand why difficult people do the things they do – and I mean it. What they want however, is a different story. Everyone wants something, even if they want it themselves with the help of no one else. Understanding what your client really wants will help out tremendously if/when they decide to put the screws to you.

After all, how can you be mad for getting what you want? You can, but you’d look silly – even to yourself (and certainly others).

Luckily, I’ve found that most people like I’ve described here care a great deal what others think of them, and at the very least, what they think of themselves.

Now look, I’m not suggesting that your client is your enemy – just the negative effects of difficult people and the repercussions that come with them. By knowing what your customer wants, really wants, you can disarm them before they even get the chance to strike. Give them what they want,  and you won’t have to give-in or cave to tyrannical pursuits. You simply stop the war before it can start, and save countless lives (hours/grief) in the process.

While I have a few more techniques for dealing with difficult people, these are the 3 most important things to consider. Some will ignore your sensibilities and continue on the war path without heed because that’s what they’re used to. That’s on them, not you. Keep a cool head, stay one step ahead, and always deliver what they ask for (as long as it’s reasonable, and actually fits the services/products that you offer). They may not give glowing recommendations to all of their friends (provided they have any), but it at least keeps them satisfied enough to not go off the deep end and start complaining about you and your company to every stranger and Internet message board from here to Hong Kong.

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